You can have all the attention, admiration, & compliments in the world and still feel completely insecure in your beauty. We all know that the world's standards of beauty are absolutely exhausting...like really.
The media does such an excellent job with bombarding us daily with unrealistic, ridiculously expensive, so-called ideals. We know deep down it's near next to impossible to attain these "#goals." It can be so challenging to genuinely feel beautiful on a day to day basis. I've definitely fallen prey to the media's constant brain washing mechanisms of never feeling quite enough. It can be a constant battle when a woman looks at the phone or TV, then looks in the mirror. But we don't have to live victim to the world's endless standards.
Here are a few simple ways that have helped me, and will hopefully help you to remember that you're truly beautiful throughout the day.
\\ Limit who you follow on social media.
You're scrolling through your news feed and UGH! A really freaking super hot woman pops up on your screen looking like the epitome of perfection.
Just like that, your confidence goes right out the window.
There are many Instagram models that are paid to promote X, Y, & Z by their bodies. Not to mention there are countless accounts with perfectly filtered pictures of fitness models, that have butt implants promoting the newest whey protein shake while effortlessly doing squats of course. While squats can be very effective, there are no amount of squats in the world that will give you a butt that looks like Nicki Minaj's. (sorry, not sorry.) Then there's that cute Instagram mom who "snapped" back after 2 weeks postpartum, with a six pack and abs of steel.
Just take your pick.
Do yourself a favor and don't fall for the deception that something is wrong with you. Men always get branded with the lust stigma, but sometimes as women, we need to filter our eyes just as much against lusting after the "parts," that we supposedly have too much or not enough of.
(Related post): You dont have to get naked to prove you're beautiful.
When you look at something long enough you begin to normalize it. Follow people who inspire you. Follow the accounts that genuinely challenge you, encourage, & don't leave you desperately looking up the cost of injections & implants after leaving their page.
\\ Focus on your favorite features.
Graham Cooke said, "Take your eyes off the negative and you will dis-empower it."
Do you really know the power of your thoughts? Science shows us that negative thoughts that get repeated over and over, sink into the subconscious mind and then can affect behavior, and actions. Your subconscious mind will accept these repetitive and negative thoughts as reality. We all have things that irritate us about our bodies and that we wish we could change. Instead of obsessing & complaining about it, refocus your attention on your favorite features.
Don't give those negative thoughts one more second of power over your emotions.
For example, do you love your eye color? Be practical. Experiment with new makeup and colors to accent the color of your eyes. Wear clothing that actually flatters your body. If it doesn't make you feel confident and sexy, don't wear it. Try something new with your hairstyle, & change your hair color for a new, uplifting look. Sometimes you just need to switch things up a little. Do something different and don't be afraid to take a little risk every now and then.
Confidence is the most attractive quality a woman can have. You literally radiate your own unique beauty the more you are dripping with confidence.
\\ Speak truth out loud.
The thoughts you express through your words shape your reality. Your mind can be full of negative & criticizing voices that are constantly filling up that space with death, lies, and self-hatred. Sometimes you need to wake yourself up.
SPEAK OUT LOUD!
Proverbs 18:21 - “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof”.
James 3:10 - “Out of the same mouth bring cursing and blessing..."
Words can build up or destroy. "I look so fat!' "I'm such a mess." "I look so awful." Don't curse yourself with words of negativity. It's just like poison. You become what you speak.
Even if you don't believe it right at that second, it doesn't matter. The truth isn't dependent on what you are feeling in that moment. Faith comes by hearing, so speak it out loud and bring your heart into alignment. Align your mind and heart with the reality that you were uniquely created.
Your emotions will follow.
\\ Pamper yourself.
This one is especially for the mamas! I know for me as a mom of two, I always feel like a brand new woman if I can just take a nice hot shower ALONE every day. Sometimes you just need to dress up, put on some earrings, lipstick, and shave your legs. You may just need to go out with a friend for a coffee, pedicure, or just take a relaxing bath. Go for a drive and blast your favorite music. Maybe you just need to sit in silence.
good luck mamas...
Pampering may mean eating a healthier diet and adding more exercise to your lifestyle. Go for a walk. Improved self-esteem is a proven psychological benefit of increased regular physical activity. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphin's. Serotonin can affect your mood, sexual desire, appetite, & sleep. As mamas, pretty much ALL of these things take a nose dive for the worse in the early mothering years. Maybe you just need to go dance to lift your spirits! Focus on shredding those last 10 pounds of baby weight, or gaining that beast mode mom muscle.
Walk around Target, read a book, listen to a song, or meditate. Whatever "pampering" looks like in your life right now, take some time for you, and treat yourself like the royalty you are for at least 30, 20, or simply 10 minutes each day.
\\ Surround yourself with support.
Who/what are you listening to? Remember the power of thoughts and words? Sometimes, it all comes down to who you are hanging around.
Girls love to talk.
When we are comfortable, we feel safe to talk freely about what we are feeling. Strengths, flaws, and all. The danger is that if you are spending a lot of time with people who are deeply insecure themselves & are consistently talking negatively about other women's looks etc, (or most commonly their own,) those kinds of thoughts always seem to find their way to creep into your own mind. Be aware of who & what you are listening to. Soak in the truth. Don't hang around people who tear you down verbally and make you feel less than worthy. Speak up, they may not even realize they are doing it. Refuse to accept those thought patterns and words. Don't be a victim. Be around loved ones who speak truth and identity into you. Do the same.
You're the apple of his eye.